AstroNuclPhysics ® Nuclear Physics - Astrophysics - Cosmology - Philosophy

Modest (in)experiences, opinions and observations about sex

Here I briefly present my small observations from an area that is completely marginal to me. From the point of view of my physics focus, I think about various natural laws and phenomena in the universe, earthly nature, in life. And the phenomenon of sex also partly belongs here. Therefore, I can perhaps allow myself to say a few subjective comments and observations about it, which could interest someone (positively or critically), inspire or entertain. I believe that this will not offend anyone: I do not use any non-literary expressions, but only universally accepted correct and professional names. In physics, everything is always called by its true name, even topics that may seem unpleasant to some are openly discussed. Here, however, we will try to speak openly about pleasant phenomena. I mean it in a good intention, to reflect on the nice and pleasant things in our life. But you can laugh at my clumsiness and naivety - I totally accept it..!..
   If anyone reads this, don't take it seriously and don't blame me, it's meant rather humorously; maybe he will also remember his beginnings with a smile..?...

My first introduction to sex
In our school childhood, my friends and I did not notice this area in any way, we took girls as friends, but they usually have completely different interests than us. With older guys, I have sometimes seen that they already deal with it a bit, they talk about it quite rudely (using expressions they picked up from the guys in the pub), try masturbating, but they mostly failed at first until the climax…
   Some of us had only the unpleasant experience with the pain at impact and bruising of the testicles. I had one small incident when I was about 13 years old while sledding in the forest down a steep hill, when I lost control of the direction of the sled and hit a tree in the crotch at full speed. I writhed in the snow for a few minutes, but then the pain, shooting through into abdomen, eased and I could get up and walk home with a careful step, slightly bent forward. For about a week, a slight inflammation of the left testicle persisted, but then it all disappeared and it was fine...
 A tender play in the crown of a tree (...closer to heaven?)
My first unexpected (and rather curious) experience in this area took place in our garden when I was about 14-15 years old. On a hot day in June, when I was walking around the garden in only my loose boxer shorts, excellent semi-dark cherries ("chestnuts") were ripening on one tree. I set up a ladder and climbed about halfway up the tree. Two female nice and prety friends, about 3 years older, right behind me. I plucked ripe cherries and gave them to them. Above me I saw a branch with beautifully ripe cherries, but I couldn't reach it from the ladder. Therefore, I stepped from the ladder onto a smaller branch a little higher with right foot and managed to catch and bend the branch with the cherries. I served the beautiful cherries to the girls below me. They liked them very much, but they kept smiled in a strange way.
   I said "They are good aren't they". "They are, but there is something else in addition: you have a nice cock!". What? - I didn't even realize that as I stepped onto a higher branch with right foot, the left trousers leg of the loose boxer shorts rolled up and to reveal the entire genitalia, right in front of their faces. The entire time I was plucking cherries from the top branch of the tree, they were watching my genital closely. One of them asked "Does anyone palpate your testicles?". "No. It should?". "Yes, to see if there is any suspicious lump on them. Then we will palpate them for you". It hurt a little bit when they squeezed them harder, but it was pleasant. That's why I didn't resist playing with these body parts...
   And soon there was an erection. So they also palpate my penis, pulling and stretching the foreskin down and up. After a while I had to hold on to the ladder tightly to keep from falling - ejaculation happened and the girls were having fun with how the sperm spraying onto the leaves of the tree. I blushed with embarrassment, but the girls told me that it was nothing wrong, it was completely natural; so we laughed about it together...
   I did not admit to them that I had not yet had any sexual experience! But according by my embarrassment, they probably recognized it. After all, they too certainly had only a short experience with this area, with tender "floral" sex (later called "vanilla"). And that was the nice thing about it...

A large cherry tree in our garden (simplifiied schematic sketch).    The question is whether these gentle casual games can be considered sex? I didn't perceive it that way at the time, it was just a small, pleasant distraction for me...

A moderate approach to sex
I tried not to actively engage in sex, but during his student years he ocassionall signed up on his own. For example, such a small thing, when I was traveling by bus from Konice to Litovel (about 3/4 hour journey) to the gymnasium: if I was sitting in the back seat where it swayed more, when I got off the bus I had to cover the front of my pants with my school briefcase to avoid showing a noticeable bulge, or even sometimes a leaking wet spot on my pants...
Of course, I didn't dare to talk about it with anyone, so I don't know if any of the other classmates experienced it, or was it just some kind of disorder on my part?
   When I was younger, I didn't like to sleep without my pajamas. For some reason it irritated me to a permanent erection. This was somewhat unpleasant in itself, but besides, it was tempting to masturbate (or ejaculation occurred - "pollution" - in sleep). And four or more ejaculations per night is somewhat debilitating... In older age, these difficulties gradually disappeared.
   I was primarily (genetically, mentally) limited to an active approach to sex and eroticism by my introverted nature, modesty, shyness and less communicativeness. And secondarily, my professional focus on natural science, especially physics. Getting to know the beauty and secrets of nature and the universe brought me not only intellectual pleasure, but also filled me with the joy of life. Erotica and sex remained only on the periphery, I usually don't reflect on them too seriously, rather only with exaggeration and humor...
   I have observed that "being in love" often eliminates the part of the brain that creates objective common sense and judgment. We are then blind to any mistakes of this partner. This is probably due to the effect of increased expression of hormones (such as dopamine, noradrenaline, cortisol, serotonin, vasopressin, oxytocin, ...), the biochemical products of which "intoxicate" not only this part of the brain, but also other parts controlling our senses - the beloved partner appears to us as beautiful, perfect, divine.... This is how natural evolution directed it to provoke the urge for sexual intercourse and sexual reproduction. From a biological point of view, I was forced to acknowledge this, but in confrontation with my inner relationship to scientific physical research and knowledge, which is necessarily objective, it was against my will ..!..
   In my youth, therefore I did not seek classic copulatory intercourse with women, because I knew that it usually leads to an emotional bond; and I always tried to be independent in my thinking, decision-making, and actions. I was determined never to marry, to remain single and to devote myself exclusively to science (physics). Nevertheless, I was eventually "hunt down" to the wedding and start a family... We have two smart and lovely daughters. That's how life went - O.K.
   I did not watch pornography, nor any "non-standard" sexual practices and "refined" erotic aids. In addition to masturbation and normal sexual intercourse, there are no limits to the imagination for variety, but it should not endanger physical health or lead to psychological pressure or humiliation. Anal sex and some forms of oral sex can be problematic..?.. I fundamentally condemned any sexual violence *) and involving sex in interpersonal relationships, leading to their degradation. Friendship and love based on sex are never true or lasting.
*) Never, not even in my deepest subconscious, did think of forcing the sex when I met a pretty girl or woman I liked (who would be "worth the sin" as they sometimes say). Only when mutual communication led to a mutual rapprochement, could a gentle physical contact possibly develop. I don't understand what deviant lust or mental disorder can lead someone to grope, abuse or even violence in this direction..?!..
   Sex is the result of evolution for the purpose primarily of reproduction with the exchange and combination of genetic information. Only in the second place as a source of pleasant pleasure and personal contacts, affection and love. I reject the cult of sex, but on the other hand, I do not consider it reasonable to taboo sex, which is an objective biological phenomenon. And likewise the intolerance of nudity and the anxious covering of some "intimate" places, that are a natural part of our body. Of course, for many reasons, the natural state is appropriate clothing - according to temperature, weather, to facilitate work procedures, to protect against adverse influences in the natural or work environment. But temporary, short-term revealing, for example while changing clothes or relaxing, while swimming, etc., shouldn't mind anything. If we perceived them as a natural part of our lives (and did not artificially look for any sexual subtext in them), rape and other moral crimes would probably decrease.
   In tropical regions, the natives often go completely without clothes. No one cares about the different sizes of female breasts or male genders (similar as someone has a taller or shorter figure, a longer nose or protruding ears - what does it matter?).
   From a psychological point of view, my main interest was always in the natural sciences, of which physics became not only my hobby, but also my profession. Erotica for me was only an occasional momentary distraction; but of course it was important for married life and the birth of children (we have two daughters)... In connection with physical considerations, I also thought about our place in nature and the universe and about the further evolution of humans and human civilization. In the work "The Anthropic Principle or Cosmic God" there is a passage "Transhumanism - a legitimate outcome of biological evolution?", including a reflection on the future of sex ("What is the perspective of sex in the distant future?"), which will hopefully be more interesting for potential readers than this incoherent talk about personal opinions and experiences, that are certainly atypical, naive and perhaps even ridiculous..!..

Vojtech Ullmann